Hey there, i'm Bill Gates. Right now i'm attending Hartford university. How did i get in here you ask? Well, it's all thanks to a little masterpiece called Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty is a highly advanced show that multiplies your brain cells more and more as you watch it. Legend says that watching 2 episodes of Rick and Morty gives you the knowledge that you'd get from a whole semester from Hartford. For some strange reason, though, when I enter the classroom, i always get quips like "Who are you" and "If you don't leave right now, I'm calling security". The teachers sure are jokesters. Usually, I explain to them that I've watched Rick and Morty so I have what it takes to attend Hartford. Next thing I know, some weird guy in a black suit and a golden badge tries removing me from the room. I guess they must be so jealous of my superior knowledge that they try removing me out of spite.
Anyways, if you couldn't tell, i'm a huge Rick and Morty fan, but things weren't always normal in the world of Rick and Morty. One day, a new season 3 episode came on called "Pickle Rick". The whole episode was just Rick shouting "I'M PICKLE RICK!!!" I laughed so hard my asshole inside out. I was already able to feel the knowledge I was gaining from this episode. My head started to swell from the brain power I was obtaining. I knew that this episode would turn me into god. All of the sudden, though, a portal opened up and interrupted rick. A small fat man with a mustache, a red shirt and a small blue coat accompanied by a tall skinny bald man with a yellow shirt walked through the portal. Without hesitation, the skinny guy crushed pickle rick into a million pieces with a swift swing of his fist. Whoa, for a guy so scrawny, this guy was sure strong. Suddenly, a door opened and a prepubescent voice could be heard. "Rick? Is everything ok in here?" asked the voice. It was none other than Morty Smith. Morty looked around and locked his gaze on the remains of his now pickled grandfather. Before he could react, the small fat guy put his fingers to his head and made morty's head fucking explode, presumably through the power of telekinesis. "NOOOOO!!" I shrieked "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY LOVE" the two strange men turned their heads towards the screen. It appears that they heard my call of grief (Infinite Warfare). "We are more superior beings than them, Bill" said the small fat man. "How did-" before i can even finish, the skinny man reached his arm through the TV and reached deep into my throat, eventually pulling out my kidney. "Like we said, we are more superior beings" the skinny man confidently remarked. I burst into tears, not knowing what to do now that my life idles were dead.
I couldn't let this go. I HAD to do something ""I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired from watching rick and morty. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you revive my rick now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you." I protested. "Good luck" laughed the fat man "We are Motlu and Patlu and you will bow down to our power. Join us and things will go by a little more peacefully. You will gain thrice the knowledge you gain from watching Rick and Morty and with just one watch of one of our episodes, you will become the creator of the universe." It was at this point that I was fucking pissed. A bunch of faggots trying to challenge MY gods? The Great Rickith and Mortith? I don't fucking think so. In the blink of an eye, I shoved my hand in my mouth to touch my uvula and projectile vommited at the TV screen. The vomit hit Patlu directly in the face and melted it instantly. This did not kill him however, as Patlu quickly regenerated his skin. Patlu began to retaliate by putting his fingers to his head, reading a psychic attack, but before he could execute it, I fled from my house using my Tony Cawk signed pro lawn board, the fastest vehicle in existence.
I cried as I skated away and I felt helpless. Suddenly, I crashed directly into a McDonalds. Bingo! I knew what to do! If I could obtain some of the HOLY GRAIL,
H Schezwan
O Sauce
L The
Y Almighty
G Life
R Granting
A Sauce
I beat my wife.
L,
I could revive Rick and Morty! I quickly barged through the doors, asking from schezwan sauce. The cashier said they don't have that, so I screamed at the top of my lungs "WHERES MY SCHEZWAN SAUCE IM PICKLE RICK IM PICKLE RIAISKCIDKCIDKC" and started having a seizure on the floor with my shirt tucked up onto my head. "Fine take it you fucking retard" The employer screamed while handing me a bottle of the sauce. It was so celestial to have such a treasure in my hands. I unzipped my pants and immediately started masturbating, using the sauce as lube. My penis suddenly grew larger, its like the sauce was fertilizer to my penis like a bag of cow shit is fertilizer to a plant. Wait shit, I shouldn't waste the sauce like this, I have to revive rick and shawty.
I quickly headed back to my house and returned to my living room. Motlu and Patlu weren't on the TV screen any more but Rick and Morty's corpses still were. I quickly opened up a time ripple into the fabric of space and time by eating 5 expired kid's cuisines and entered rick and morty's dimension. I quickly poured the sauce on what was left of them and they quickly regenerated. Before I could explain what was going on, Matlu burst through the door. "AH HA! I GOT YOU ALL RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU" screamed Matlu. Rick quickly shot at Matlu's head with a ray gun in his pocket, the source of his power and life. Matlu's head bled blood everywhere, causing Matlu to probably die from blood loss or something. Patlu entered the room and was in shock to see his dead companion. Patlu looked up at me, Rick and Morty with rage in his eyes. He began to chant an unusual chant under his breath "In the cool clothes, plus attitude, plus new hand moves AND......." he started moving his arms in a certain position "DAB!!!!" Patlu Released a Devasting dab which caused a massive explosion which killed everything in the nearest 1000 mile radius. All except for me, morty and Rick.
Matlu was revived from the dab and became Allah the sun god. "This ENDS NOW! You will submit to our power, bill. WE'RE your gods now." Patlu shouted. "We'll take it from here, kid. We got this" Rick said as he shoved me aside. My god... TOUCHED ME! I immediately jetted cum that pierced right through my pants, hitting Matlu and Patlu in the face. This gave Rick and Morty the opportunity to strike. Rick shot at Matlu while Morty swung at patlu. Despite their lack of vision, the pair of Indian brand men dodged the attacks in succession. They launched barbed cat dildos from the nearest liquor store but they bounced off rick like they were nothing. Rick managed to get patlu in a headlock and threatened to snap his skinny neck if matlu didn't give up. "This is it Matlu" Patlu softly cried. "No! We have one last trick up our sleeve" Motlu said. "Costumer Service how may I help you today?" The natural Indian bald headed hunk said. The attack was so powerful, Rick disintegrated immediately and so did Morty. Rick and morty had been defeated... which means I now have to pray to Matlu and Patlu now....